Hey friends,
Today’s Blog post was definitely not something I planned as most of my blog posts are dedicated to Tarot, Runes and Relationship Coaching.
So, what happened?
Well, the “third wave” happened.
If you are in a country where you are going through yet another lockdown, and who knows if this is the last one, you are probably reaching a point when you really need some tips on how to get through this without getting nuts.
What is happening right now has caused a spike in anxiety, depression and other mental health struggles.
The consequences of strength can be both physiological and mental. When we are talking about the impact on the body, it is sleep disturbance, food disorders and worsening of other conditions one may be predisposed to.
When we talk mental health, stress results in irritability, panic attacks, depression and addictions.
I appreciate so many wonderful ideas and advice from people to help others find some fun and meaningful activities to do, but let’s be real with each other: a good book and a warm bath don’t do the trick anymore. It’s been over a year since it all started and you probably already celebrated 365 days of bubble baths.
I am going to give you some REAL and MEANINGFUL advice on what you need to start doing now to preserve (and hopefully improve) your mental health.
Let’s jump right into it.
1. How can I separate myself from work mentally if I am working from home?
This is a MUST for your mental health. There is a reason why we GO to work. Even though now companies claim that working from home seems to work perfectly fine, it works fine for a company that no longer needs to pay for commercial lease and maintain the building.
But for YOUR mental health, it is a very big hit.
You know this feeling when you come home from work and finally feel RELAXED?
Well, you probably don’t remember what it’s like anymore because your home and work environments seemed to merge into one.
And it is SO important that you do everything to separate them.
Here are some suggestions for you:
Even if you live in a small apartment, you need to have an area designed strictly for work.
Separate this area from the rest of the room or your flat and make sure you have dedicated hours of work.
And when you are done with your work, you DO NOT go back there to check something, to read an email or to reply to a coworker that doesn’t know a definition of work hours and sends 500 emails at 10pm.
You do you.
If your job end at 5pm, wave your “workplace” a goodbye and leave the space both physically and mentally.
Interesting tip from psychologists is even to choose a certain outfit for your work hours buy I would go so far as to say, choose an outfit for your whole day regardless if you are working or no.
I’m telling you guys, it’s such a shift in a mindset when you are washed, dressed, have some make up on, nice perfume, whatever rocks your boat, as long as you are not spending all your day in pjs.
2. What can I do if I find myself overeating or drinking more alcohol than I normally would?
Let’s break it down right away: over eating, smoking excessively or drinking more alcohol than you normally would and should, is THE WORST strategy to get through the quarantine.
You MUST find other ways to cope and I know how difficult it is. You need to ACCEPT your emotions, fears and anger and I know you are at the point where you don’t want to accept anything, you just want to fall asleep and wake up thinking it was just your worst nightmare that is now over.
I know it’s easy to say that eventually it will be over.
For some of us, coping is much more difficult than for others and I know that you have reasons.
If you are really at your breaking point, you understand that you no longer can cope by yourself, you start developing addictions or worse feel aggressive towards your family members, PLEASE seek help.
Thankfully, there is MANY resources available right now. There are a lot of counselors, psychologists and workers that are offering help at low cost and even at no cost.
No one will ever judge you for seeking help.
Call you friend, your mother or cousin. Sit down with your partner and just talk. Maybe others will be able to offer some insights or advice. Maybe together you will develop a plan.
If you are with kids 24/7, make sure you put aside some time for yourself. I knoooow, it’s super cliché to talk about self-care but I am a mom myself and I know how important it is.
And you know what? Sometimes you need to turn on that cartoon for 30 minutes and just go, sit down and have your coffee with a muffin. Do NOT let anyone shame you.
Losing your shit is NORMAL, we all do, we are no Yogis here.
3. How do I stop myself from watching or reading news every day and getting angry?
This is a big one. I probably should have started with it.
My best advice is disconnecting your cable and delete the news from your phone. This is what I did, it works like a miracle.
No, there is no show on your TV you can’t live without. There is Netflix, Amazon and plenty of other platforms to watch programs and shows.
Our immune system and well-being highly depend on what is going on in our head. If you start your day or dedicate all day to the subject of pandemic, such as watching news, videos, statistics and prognosis that may or may not ever come true, this will raise your anxiety level, which in turn will affect both physical and mental health.
All this can not only lead to anxiety disorder and depression. If you are on my page, then I trust you believe in the fact that our thoughts are materialistic. And so are our fears. Make sure that you are feeding your mind with positive affirmations.
Instead, try to shift your focus on other things you are interested in. Think what else matters for you? Maybe you want to improve your health, start a new exercise routine, learn about digital marketing or knitting. Youtube is booming now more than ever. Why not dedicate your time towards something useful?
4. How do I keep myself calm when I feel like my blood is boiling? How to overcome anger and helplessness caused by the news?
When I thought about an answer to this question, I remembered a time when my Yoga instructor was teaching us meditation.
We were in the process of meditation and I kept trying to push the thoughts away but they would come back. I would try to talk myself into stillness but as a result, I would just tense up, while the thoughts were still there.
At this time, I heard my teacher saying: “If you are trying right now to be still so hard you keep on repeating “stop thinking” to yourself, you are doing it all wrong.”
I started laughing. I was really laughing at myself and at how stupid I felt. Meditation is about acceptance and release. We accept any thought that comes our way and try to simply dismiss it.
What you need to remember is that when you are trying to escape anger, panic or distress to reach that stillness that seems to be so unachievable, when you are trying to look positive or talk yourself into feeling positive or calm, you are trying to reach yet another extreme.
Mental health and well-being are not in stillness or eternal optimism. It is somewhere in the middle.
All emotions are necessary. We need to release our anger, we need to laugh till we cry and sometimes cry, so that we can laugh again.
What is important is maintaining that balance.
It’s not always easily done but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to be happy 24/7. This is NOT a definition of good health.
With that said, don’t forget that others around you may also be having a bad day. Offer help and support with a reminder that we are all here for each other, in good and in bad.
5. I do exercises and Yoga but they don’t seem to help with my stress levels. How do I not get discouraged?
It is important to understand what type of physical activity can help YOU right NOW based on your needs and your mental state.
Yoga may not be helpful to release anxiety and anger that has built up over the past months.
It may be a better idea for you to buy a boxing bag and kick the hell out of it.
Or you may need to go for a run and let the wind and fresh air really stir everything up inside.
But for those who continue to work outside of their home, you may be hustling so much during the day that what you really need is stillness. In this case, Yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices will be most helpful.
It is really important to assess your current mental health situation. If you are unsure, grab a pen and paper and write down everything you feel. Take a look at what prevails.
In any case, I want you to understand that ESPECIALLY NOW exercise and physical activity are more important than ever before. So, make sure you include in your life the following:
-Physical activity in any form that fits you (running, Yoga, Pilates, boxing)
-Breathing exercises
-Attention and Mindfulness exercises
6. Make sure to take care of the elderly at the best of your ability.
Our elderly seem to be so forgotten. And just as our children, they are the most affected by the current situation.
Even prior to these lockdown it’s been a known fact that many older people, when they retire, go through difficulties related to the lack of social life, goals and meaningful events.
Now, when most of them are completely stuck at home all the above issues have only intensified.
Because of that, they don’t really have much left to do but watch a TV all day and as we discussed above, television can negatively impact mental health of the healthiest young individuals, let alone the vulnerable population.
I know that some of you are unable to see your grandparents or parents in person, as they may be in a retirement facility with restrictions on visitors.
But as someone who lives so far away from grandparents for more than 10 years, I can give you the following suggestions:
CALL. Wow, so “new”. I know it’s not but I have noticed that today’s generation will do everything and anything to avoid calling. People are so consumed in social media, swiping, liking and texting that when it comes to actually pick up a phone and chat, they hardly know what to talk about.
If your elderly has a landline still, you can use that but if you have a chance buy them a tablet or a cellphone and either yourself or have someone show them how to use at the very least Skype or What’s App.
And really, you don’t have to have a reason for a call.
Call to ask your grandmother share her favourtire apply pie recipe, to get her opinion on your job situation, to share your baby’s first tooth finally coming through.
It all may seem like day-to-day activities for you but you have NO IDEA how much they want to be involved and have a meaningful life.
This will keep them busy and will really take their minds off the negativity that is spilling from every single television channel on them.
7. Try to have a schedule that all family members will follow.
In the conditions we are facing right now when family members are forced to be together 24/7, sometimes in quite a small space, it is inevitable that you may start to experience issues in your relationship with a partner or your children.
For this reason, divorce rates, verbal and physical abuse and alcohol intoxication are at the highest.
It is a very serious matter because people are unable to structure their day, have a schedule and follow it.
What you can do is the following:
-Have a set of rules at home everyone will follow. “Mommy is working for the next two hours, while you are doing your online learning, then we meet at 12pm for lunch”
You can establish a reward system for your children if they are following through with the schedule.
-Have a space at home where you go to take a breath if the situation heats up and you feel like you are losing your cool.
-Set up a schedule for yourself that would cover all areas of your life, not just your work. Make sure you dedicate some time to spend with your family, spouse, children and, of course, the elderly.
8. Lastly, if you want to maintain good mental health and get through this period, coming out happy & healthy, it is important to REMAIN A HUMAN BEING.
Not a human, not a person, not a man or a woman, a HUMAN BEING.
We all react to the events that are happening right now differently. One person is angry, another couldn’t care less. Someone is not leaving their house, another is at a protest, protecting the freedom they believe in.
LIVE and LET LIVE. That’s something we all seemed to talk about a lot before this all started but completely forgotten since.
This is ALL a NORMAL reaction to not so normal events.
Everyone copes the way they can. If you don’t agree or don’t approve, for yourself, do what you judge to be right.
If you continue to bark at people for not following the standards of normality you have set up for yourself, none of the above suggestions will help you.
By trying to judge, humiliate or laugh at others, you set yourself to the path of anger and misery.
I am not encouraging you to do anything in particular, to chose a camp or a side. All I am telling you is leave others alone and live your life.
BONUS TIPS:
If you are following me on my Instagram, you know that I am now running a GIVEAWAY and one of the conditions is to write in the comments what you do to release stress. I put together some of your wonderful suggestions and I hope we can all learn from each other.
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